Off the cuff

Suspicious Listing on LendingClub

August 4, 2014
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While perusing LendingClub’s loan platform today, I came across a highly suspicious borrower. It’s member loan #23954784 who is currently a lab assistant in Albuquerque, NM. The reason for the loan request? “Other”.

This is what I suspect behind the scenes:

LendingClub Breaking Bad

The Entrepreneur

October 13, 2013
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entrepreneurial warriorsThey paint their faces, they unsheathe their swords. They look fearless even if they are in fact full of fear. Some wear a full body of armor and others have no armor at all.

We’ve all seen them, but they are not easily understood. The entrepreneur storms the castle not because he believes he will be victorious in doing so, but because he believes the castle must be stormed. He does it with a purpose and intent that is all his own. Some do it for riches and some for recognition. Others do it simply to change the status quo.

Call it an innate desire for conquest in modern times. An empire of widgets or influence is not much different than the empires of land and resources of yore. When an entrepreneur looks in the mirror, he sees his blood, his sweat, his tears. He sees scars that others cannot. Eyes burning, jaw clenched, he reminds himself that he will not go quietly into the night.

There is an acknowledgement that even if the worst should happen and the pursuit fails, that all has not been in vain, that it was a great honor to have gone down trying than to have not tried at all. One should imagine each failed startup contributing to a greater purpose, as felled warriors being greeted by the ancient valkyries of Valhalla.

Every entrepreneur has that first moment. The moment where they finally take the plunge and risk it all. It’s a moment they can’t take back and wouldn’t even if they could. Completely surrendering to the risk of total failure to pursue self-created success is an event that forever changes a man’s psyche. So empowered is that individual when they exchange their hard hat and workman’s gloves for a battle axe and chainmail. It’s as if pandora’s box opens and all at once they learn that they and they alone control their destiny.

Metal clangs, horses neigh. The entrepreneur roars and charges ahead. The crowd wonders, “why does he do it?” and the enemy wonders the same. Sword unsheathed, gaze steady, fearless looking even if full of fear. Not everyone can be like them. Some wear armor and others not at all. They come from all different backgrounds and circumstances. They storm the castle not because they believe they will be victorious, but because they believe the castle needs to be stormed. They do it because they must do it, because there is no going back. They do it for riches, for recognition, for change, for passion, for happiness, for love, for the challenge, for conquest, for their honor…

Are you an entrepreneur?

10 Clues You’re Hardcore About Merchant Cash Advance

May 30, 2013
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You might eat and breathe funding small business, but unless you’ve got a set of pajamas like mine, you probably don’t sleep it too.

merchant cash advance pajamas

Yeah, Funding Just Got Serious…

Other signs you might be hardcore:

1. You miss your train back to Westchester, Long Island, Brooklyn, or North Jersey because of something someone said on DailyFunder:

just too interesting
the wire went out



2. You yawn whenever you reference millions of dollars…

funding $3 million was okay I gues


3. This is what you have for lunch every day…

account rep lunch


4. You know at least three people that talk about starting their own ISO on a daily basis but never do it…

starting an iso


5. You’ve realized that the only reason the MCA industry has grown so much in recent years is because of account reps like this…

what the ACH market has taken off


6. You’ve accidentally referred to your friends, relatives, or other non-business owners as merchants. “I mean hey, we’re all merchants here, right?



7. You’ve gotten at least one trophy. Top Salesman, Hardest Working or…

loser trophy


8. You’ve worked for this guy before or you probably still do..

ucc calls


9. You’ve been on a totally great sales call and had a colleague walk in the room and do one of these to ruin it…



10. But most of all, if you help your clients in a timely manner and they look like this…

happy merchant

Then you’ll always be hardcore in their eyes!


View More Merchant Cash Advance Memes on DailyFunder

– Merchant Processing Resource on iPhone, iPad, or Android

It Got Said – Merchant Cash Advance – Friday Fun

April 26, 2013
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In honor of Friday, we’re having some fun…

automate underwriting

18 month offer

See the rest of the Merchant Cash Advance memes on DailyFunder

Caught on twitter

Don’t Get Banned by Your Target Market

March 19, 2013
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kicked out?I’ve watched this happen a lot over the last several weeks, particularly on Google Plus. Businesses both large and small join a community, start posting links to their blog and then they get banned. Some are posting crap and others are posting genuinely good content, but the good content is being pushed on people and nobody likes that.

Communities and forums exist for discussion, not for marketers to disseminate their blog posts with titles like 10 ways for small businesses to maximize profits. Now there are a few instances where it makes sense to post a link to your website, but only if it truly results in a healthy engaging debate and shares. If that doesn’t happen, then you’re probably in trouble.

I have actually had to watch a few people I know in financial services get the boot in communities, and there was nothing I could do to help them. Their brands have literally been BANNED from talking amongst their peers and potential customers and that’s probably the worst thing that can happen. I’ve all seen hundreds of small businesses make the same mistake, younger businesses that have finally decided to give social media a shot, only to be shown the door 10 minutes after they jump in. It’s disheartening. Many communities don’t offer a warning, so the best chance to let sometime know the basics of human interaction, is to do it before they join anything. If you were thinking of joining a community or have been banned by one, particularly on Google Plus, I’ve written up a little road map titled: Banned from a Google Plus Community?

– Merchant Processing Resource on iPhone, iPad, and Android

Kabbage Has Some Fun

February 26, 2013
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I wish I had stumbled upon this when it was released in June of last year. Ahh well, still worth sharing now!

Kabbage does Merchant Cash Advances / Merchant Loans specifically for Ebay, Amazon, Etsy, and other e-commerce platform merchants.

The World is Going Mobile

January 28, 2013
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We noticed a lot of people sharing and retweeting a link today to a web campaign by Google to create mobile friendly sites. Coincidentally, we’ve been working on “mobile-izing” Merchant Processing Resource for the past couple weeks. We used Google’s GoMo tool to see how we’re doing so far:

2 Seconds and easy to use! Now it’s your turn to GoMo.

Get to our site easily on your phone by typing in

If They Were in MCA

January 23, 2013
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gordon gekko

If Gordon Gekko (Wall Street) was in MCA, he would be that strict underwriter that everyone hates.

On Approvals: “I look at a hundred deals a day. I pick one.”

On making an exception: “I don’t throw darts at a board. I bet on sure things. Read Sun-tzu, The Art of War. Every battle is won before it is ever fought.”

On a phone call with the rep: “You stop sending me information, and you start getting me some.”

On ordering a site inspection: “I want to know where he goes, what he sees, I want you to fill in the missing pieces of the puzzle.”


If Agent Smith (The Matrix) was in MCA…

His thoughts on the underwriting department: “Never send a human to do a machine’s job.”

On a collections call: “As you can see, we’ve had our eye on you for some time now, Mr. Anderson.”

In regards to the secret terminals the merchant is using to avoid repayment: “Find them and destroy them.”


If Michael Scott (The Office) was in MCA…

On what type of merchants to target: “There are four kinds of business: tourism, food service, railroads, and sales. And hospitals/manufacturing. And air travel.”

In response to his ISOs wondering why there is no website to check balances for their merchants: “We can’t overestimate the value of computers. Yes, they are great for playing games and forwarding funny emails, but real business is done on paper.”

Just for fun
– Merchant Processing Resource on iPhone, iPad, and Android