If They Were in MCAJanuary 23, 2013 | By: Sean Murray
If Gordon Gekko (Wall Street) was in MCA, he would be that strict underwriter that everyone hates.
On Approvals: “I look at a hundred deals a day. I pick one.”
On making an exception: “I don’t throw darts at a board. I bet on sure things. Read Sun-tzu, The Art of War. Every battle is won before it is ever fought.”
On a phone call with the rep: “You stop sending me information, and you start getting me some.”
On ordering a site inspection: “I want to know where he goes, what he sees, I want you to fill in the missing pieces of the puzzle.”
If Agent Smith (The Matrix) was in MCA…
His thoughts on the underwriting department: “Never send a human to do a machine’s job.”
On a collections call: “As you can see, we’ve had our eye on you for some time now, Mr. Anderson.”
In regards to the secret terminals the merchant is using to avoid repayment: “Find them and destroy them.”
If Michael Scott (The Office) was in MCA…
On what type of merchants to target: “There are four kinds of business: tourism, food service, railroads, and sales. And hospitals/manufacturing. And air travel.”
In response to his ISOs wondering why there is no website to check balances for their merchants: “We can’t overestimate the value of computers. Yes, they are great for playing games and forwarding funny emails, but real business is done on paper.”January 28, 2013
Sean Murray is the founder of deBanked, a 10-year veteran of the merchant cash advance industry, a casual Lending Club and Prosper investor, the co-founder of Daily Funder, an alternative lending speaker, consultant, writer, and enthusiast. Connect with me on LinkedIn or follow me on twitter.